I have never been more ready in my life to do this right now.
As the managing editor of a “major” pornographic magazine, I get dozens of porno DVDs every single week. Most of them are called something like Ghetto Booty #30 or Asian Ass #69 or Mother’s Milk From Hell or some shit. Once in a blue moon, however, I get tranny porn. Today is one of those […]
Apparently this amazing man is opening a venue in our fair city of NYC at 100 Lafayette. Apparently this venue is supposed to be called Santa’s Party House and apparently there are no vehicles in this world that will get me to Alex W.K. fast enough for me to throw myself in his arms and […]
My thighs keep me warm at night, and they don’t prevent me from sleeping by snoring in my face or jamming their boners in my back (youch, dude.) Thanks for carrying me places all these years, you’re forgiven for making me look so bad in shorts and hey, sorry for all the bruises.
Here, have […]
Ícaro Airlines out of Quito is now hosting mid-air underwear fashion parades for a two-week special. Ecuador, I sweat you.
Sick cartography porn by christina.
Listen Justin, I know the last video was a little bit (unnecessarily) extravagant, but you’re boring the pants off me with this one. The special effects look pretty cool, but they would probably look better if I was stoned. Love stoned. Get it? Anyway, here it is, the new Justin Timberlake video for “Lovestoned.” My […]
The warm weather must be making the boys around this city ill or loopy or something. Your game is off, guys. What’s the problem?
“Take a ride in my time machine baby” isn’t a text that gets me wet after I’ve not returned your phone calls or seen you for three months. Take a hint. And […]
Paris Hilton is out of jail, says an “unimpeachable source,” according to TMZ.com. Yay? We didn’t even have enough time to cop Free Paris shirts or some shit.
source: TMZ
earlier: Inmate #69666420
So my sweet princess Paris is in jail for a whopping 3 weeks+ starting today. Send her a postcard, she is lonely.
You can just read the original post on Gawker and leave “funny” comments proving that you know something about Russian literature. Even better, you can read the original-original post by the Post, which is […]
Dorian Visionheart Dyer makes some real spirit-animal type art that reminds me why my parents stopped doing (real) drugs before having me (i think). Sometime between 1970 and now, this kind of lovefest-nature-babies-are-like-eagles thing got really weird, but Visionheart doesn’t care.
The CEO of R&B, R. Kelly, done hath got his album leaked on him. Yes, I just went there. Here’s a choice track that equates inter-space travel to boning.
R. Kelly - Sex Planet [mp3]
source: Idolator
Here’s a rundown of why fucking around with foreign dudes is the greatest.
They think you’re exotic for being a white chick who grew up in Jersey.
They don’t talk much.
When they do talk, they say things like, “You are the hotness.”
They’re easy. And forward.
They’re only in town for a little while, so you don’t ever […]
Lastings Milledge, a young buck from the Mets’ farm system, has already been in some deep trouble with the Mets before his latest debacle: a featured verse on a track called “Bend Ya Kneez,” a song about…well I ain’t explaining it. The track is by a rapper named Manny Ramirez D, and is a […]
The BAMcinématek’s Jenet on Film program continues today with Querelle, Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s final film before his suicide in 1982.
Fist normally does this but his ass is in the Chi-town so I’m stepping up since half the people that operate this issue are still asleep. Bunch of good stuff coming up in the Apple this weekend despite the shite weather, don’t let that stop you from wiling. I dont know when any of these […]
I met the best crazy homeless train guy last night after work on where else? The F train. He told us his name was Antennae Man, and he is an “alien from outer space, not from Mexico.” His spaceship crashed on Earth, and now he is terrorizing humans via renditions of “Pop Goes the Weasel” […]
Alright dudes: Just because it’s spring doesn’t mean you get a free pass for completely insanity. Let’s go over a quick run-down of the stupidest shit your sex has pulled on me in the last couple of weeks:
Megaconglomerate chipmaker Samsung has upped the capacity of its moviNAND flash memory chip to 16gb by the end of the quarter. Wait, what the FUCK is NAND flash memory? Well, if you pry the case off your iPoor you will find a few mysterious little black scabs that hold all your Justin Timberlake and Black Eyed […]
