I have never been more ready in my life to do this right now.
God came down and told the state of California to release young Ms. Hilton from her shackles, lest he unleash a wrath upon the west coast unseen since the Sonics won the NBA title in 1979. And it was good.
In totally-important-news, Instructables teaches the interworld how to make a placemat out of bacon. It’s because, obviously, Americans aren’t ingesting enough grease. They call it an “all-body lube job.” Sexy.
source: Slashfood
This weeks Rock Dove is trailing off the now-distant buzz of the final Sopranos episode. Here is the real life story of contemporary mob boss Vinnie Gigante. Instead of saying his name, you can knowingly point to your chin.
In local comics news and events, this weekend is the MoCCA art fest, which is the New […]
I don’t even have anything to say about this.
Video tries to do “Sopranos,” ends up with praise from the NYT, but is still almost as retarded as checkered Vans. And Hillary’s campaign song is from that chest-beater now. Who cares (my parents won’t see this on the Internet anyway, but maybe Channel 5 or something), […]
The warm weather must be making the boys around this city ill or loopy or something. Your game is off, guys. What’s the problem?
“Take a ride in my time machine baby” isn’t a text that gets me wet after I’ve not returned your phone calls or seen you for three months. Take a hint. And […]
Paris Hilton is out of jail, says an “unimpeachable source,” according to TMZ.com. Yay? We didn’t even have enough time to cop Free Paris shirts or some shit.
source: TMZ
earlier: Inmate #69666420
So my sweet princess Paris is in jail for a whopping 3 weeks+ starting today. Send her a postcard, she is lonely.
You can just read the original post on Gawker and leave “funny” comments proving that you know something about Russian literature. Even better, you can read the original-original post by the Post, which is […]
Here’s a video of AA manager of the Mississippi Braves, Phillip Wellman, freaking the fuck out after being ejected. He does the quintessential dirtying up the plate and throwing bases around, but adds some flair to his routine by army crawling to the mound, pretending the rosin bag is a grenade by pulling out an […]
Anyone who mentions my infrequent update schedule gets a Billy Martin-style, drunk-as-hell sucker punch. Now that’s baseball.
In North Jerz, our middle schools get rid of termites and students – extra early!
Gas mask is the new fluoro. Hot.
I love you, West Brook Middle School!
What I want to know is, can I now sue the town to take a chunk out of potential grad school debt? So far I’ve got a pedophile teacher […]
According to reports, Kurt Cobain’s image is being used to sell motherfucking Doc Marten’s. Hope you have a nice day. This is totally gross. [Fist note: does Doc Martens understand that awkward 13 year old punks don’t know about Nirvana?]
Source: Perez Hilton
Edit: More wholesale desecration at the Daily Swarm.
Zach Braff on Jersey.
^^still questionable.^^
Paramus, holla! I almost forgive him for the sappy end to “Garden State” now. Maybe. Let’s just forget that and go with “Scrubs.” They should’ve had Kenan do something funny with the arena, like explode himself or maybe not since that’s gonna be Giants Stadium and it’s an implosion. If […]
Fuck! Japanese style brand Neighborhood of paramilitary-motif fame comes out with a new fitted that is apropos of our current state. Available at Union NYC, of course.
Image courtesy of strictlyfitteds.com. Ugly girls courtesy of your stupid face.
Pioneering NYC skatewear facility Union reopens its doors on Friday. I’m too hungover to editorialize, so just go here and buy shit. Everything you ever saw that you thought was dope was here first. The reopening will probably bring endless collabo tees, limited kicks, “lifestyle” goods such as corny tarot cards, and more. Since 1989.
info […]
Most of you have already read up on the fact Jerry Falwell, one of the leading douchebags in the conservative Christian movement, bit the dust earlier today. The 73-year-old was found unconscious in his office at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. Falwell’s illustrious career included striving to overturn Roe V. Wade and the Supreme Court’s […]
