$tay ¢old

Who is the idiot who deliberately decides not to wear galoshes on the snowiest/rainiest day of the year because galoshes aren’t warm? HELLO, AT LEAST THEY ARE DRY! I just spent an hour going into shops looking for snow boots and there are none to be had. Slogging through the […]

Last night, somewhere between drinking Evan Williams out of the bottle and attempting to play ping pong while seeing double, I managed to send the most amazing drunk text I have ever typed. ever. in the history of me and booze and phones:
“Make Hump day Hump ME day.”
I AM OFFICIALLY MADE OF MAGIC.

HOLY god damn.

Check out 41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiments for more.
Not that I was much better.

This is our sweet geodesic dome project from 4th grade. We also made some with gumdrops that were obviously later eaten, regardless of the fact that tens of grubby fourth-grade hands were all over them.

Apparently this amazing man is opening a venue in our fair city of NYC at 100 Lafayette. Apparently this venue is supposed to be called Santa’s Party House and apparently there are no vehicles in this world that will get me to Alex W.K. fast enough for me to throw myself in his arms and […]

Some sort of insane slapstick or “ha ha look at the loser” comedy.  I started a load of laundry over three hours ago and it is STILL IN MY MACHINE.  There’s also a giant puddle on my floor and my jeans are still in two feet of water.
My solution: a) laugh  b) watch DVR’d Rock […]

Nah, I’m just kidding, but word on the street is that TVT Records filed for bankruptcy on Friday. I guess this means you guys are going to have to get your Crunk Hits compilations some other way. Fortunately, there hasn’t been any similar news about Razor & Tie, so your Kidz Bop and […]

I ask you this.
Is anything better than a Beavis and Butthead snowboard?

Maybe a Beavis and Butthead themed track bike.
Too ¢old for that right now, though. February is probably the worst month of the year on the east coast. It’s shorter than the rest, you don’t get any cheaper rent out of it, […]

Avid readers of $tay ¢old have probably been thinking to themselves, “Now this here site is pretty dang entertaining. I just feel like there’s something missing…something that I can’t quite put my finger on….” Well I’m here to tell you what that something is: A Jew. And not just any Jew–me. […]

the joke is that i’m not kidding. in another spectacular fit of innovation, there is a restaurant in tokyo where you can have sex with an animal, and then a chef will whisk away its freshly fucked body, slaughter it, and cook it for you any old which way you want! can you imagine anything […]

I don’t know what you guys think but getting hit on at the gym is not cool. Some bro winked at me while I was in full red face/sweaty under-boob mode on the elliptical machine last week and I swear to god my vagina sealed itself shut for a good 45 minutes. But if this […]

It’s snowing in New York today and I’m crossing my frozen fingers and hoping for a winter wonderland. The weather gets weirder every year and all I want is an excuse to drink hot cocoa and run around on the roof in the snow like this broad did last year. I don’t think my giddy […]

Being kept awake by someone who snores so loud it makes the construction paper walls in your bedroom vibrate is only ok if that someone wakes up at 2 pm, laughs at you for being grumpy and drags you to the bar you were just at 8 hours before to drink off the hangover that’s […]

sup?

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alix has a medal that she wears, originally uploaded by liquid_banjo.

we’re just taking a nap real quick.

SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKS. Did you think I was snoozing on the job? Steady sawing logs at the mothergrabbing switch? Son, I have fresh new things for you. Tight shit. Shiny. Smells like fresh basil. Cop a roast beef and pull up some astroturf, this shit is hot off the internets.

As part of their ongoing effort to make everything awesome, Google Maps now lets you wile out and drag and drop your driving directions so that you can take whatever route you want. On top of that, there are live-traffic updates, indicating which routes are sketchy to take. What the fuck is Mapquest?

So the bad news is the first two of the seven Morrissey concerts for which I have tickets have been cancelled/postponed. But the good news is I got a promo copy of the new Fucked Up E.P. in the mail today courtesy of What’s Your Rupture and Solid PR! It’s no secret that Fucked […]

Williamsburg hipster haven Union Pool has more problems than the usual 12-hour bathroom wait.
One of the bouncers has been accused of “gaybashing,” after he allegedly put a young gentleman nicknamed “Charlie the Gaysian” in a headlock after he complained about the early closing (3:15) of the back room at UP. Apparently there was the […]