$tay ¢old

On April 12th I’ll be participating in Hands On New York Day.
In memory of our selfless and unbelievably awesome friend Craig, please consider donating to the cause.
The official word:
New York Cares creates volunteer projects that meet pressing needs in our city all year long–reading to kids, preparing meals for the homeless, visiting lonely […]

For years now I’ve been telling my Netflix friends to rent George Washington, the lyrical coming-of-age film from writer/director David Gordon Green (he was also the man behind All the Real Girls), and now that he’s teamed up with the crowd-pleasing Apatow proteges to bring us Pineapple Express, they might start listening. The stoner crime […]

I was just thinking about him the other day. Looks like I’m not the only one.
The Salinger of Indie Rock

A: NO!
I went to Zebulon for the first time last night to see my friend’s jazz band play. It’s a neat bar that’s laid back and romantic–dark lighting, candles, booths. My enjoyment of the music was ruined by this couple sucking face in the grossest possible way for about an hour. I […]

Who is the idiot who deliberately decides not to wear galoshes on the snowiest/rainiest day of the year because galoshes aren’t warm? HELLO, AT LEAST THEY ARE DRY! I just spent an hour going into shops looking for snow boots and there are none to be had. Slogging through the […]

Just a photo nerd remark regarding the pic of Gnarls Barkley below: the kickass promos were shot by East-turned-West Coast photo-pals Jeremy and Claire Weiss. They killed it on this one… wait ’til the rest come out.

Following on the success of their chart-topping blockbuster “St. Elsewhere,” the power duo of Danger Mouse and Cee-Lo Green are finally releasing some information about their forthcoming studio album, “The Odd Couple,” due out April 8. While the first single, “Run,” has already leaked and they’re rushing a video through production, a video for […]

Last night, somewhere between drinking Evan Williams out of the bottle and attempting to play ping pong while seeing double, I managed to send the most amazing drunk text I have ever typed. ever. in the history of me and booze and phones:
“Make Hump day Hump ME day.”
I AM OFFICIALLY MADE OF MAGIC.

This is a few days old by now, but my new most favorite website is stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.
For your reading enjoyment, here is entry #69–Mos Def (I also like this one because it has “69″ in the title…heh heh):
In the olden days of white culture, people used to look up to Kings and Princes. These were the […]

HOLY god damn.

Check out 41 Hilarious Science Fair Experiments for more.
Not that I was much better.

This is our sweet geodesic dome project from 4th grade. We also made some with gumdrops that were obviously later eaten, regardless of the fact that tens of grubby fourth-grade hands were all over them.

As the managing editor of a “major” pornographic magazine, I get dozens of porno DVDs every single week. Most of them are called something like Ghetto Booty #30 or Asian Ass #69 or Mother’s Milk From Hell or some shit. Once in a blue moon, however, I get tranny porn. Today is one of those […]

Apparently this amazing man is opening a venue in our fair city of NYC at 100 Lafayette. Apparently this venue is supposed to be called Santa’s Party House and apparently there are no vehicles in this world that will get me to Alex W.K. fast enough for me to throw myself in his arms and […]

Some sort of insane slapstick or “ha ha look at the loser” comedy.  I started a load of laundry over three hours ago and it is STILL IN MY MACHINE.  There’s also a giant puddle on my floor and my jeans are still in two feet of water.
My solution: a) laugh  b) watch DVR’d Rock […]

Adulthood is hard. If you succeed in making it to your mid-20’s while holding a relatively normal job and still paying your rent on time even though you wake up clutching a half-eaten turkey sandwich at least 3 nights out of the week, you should go ahead and reward yourself by slipping in some flannel […]

the door to the bathroom you’re in opens and you’re on the pot and you can’t get up to close it and you’re shouting CAN SOMEONE GET THE DOOR and finally one of them pokes her head in not realizing what’s going on, laughs at you, tells everyone at the party that she just saw […]

Nah, I’m just kidding, but word on the street is that TVT Records filed for bankruptcy on Friday. I guess this means you guys are going to have to get your Crunk Hits compilations some other way. Fortunately, there hasn’t been any similar news about Razor & Tie, so your Kidz Bop and […]

lip: i miss being incredibly drunk in the summertime
angry: um yes
angry: i hate winter
lip: like just being so drunk
lip: that you’re pretty sure you are jesus
lip: and like
lip: staring into the void
lip: and thinking
lip: i am so fucking drunk
angry: and staying out until 7am is totally acceptable
lip: YEAH
lip: and like someone asking you what […]

I ask you this.
Is anything better than a Beavis and Butthead snowboard?

Maybe a Beavis and Butthead themed track bike.
Too ¢old for that right now, though. February is probably the worst month of the year on the east coast. It’s shorter than the rest, you don’t get any cheaper rent out of it, […]

Avid readers of $tay ¢old have probably been thinking to themselves, “Now this here site is pretty dang entertaining. I just feel like there’s something missing…something that I can’t quite put my finger on….” Well I’m here to tell you what that something is: A Jew. And not just any Jew–me. […]

My thighs keep me warm at night, and they don’t prevent me from sleeping by snoring in my face or jamming their boners in my back (youch, dude.) Thanks for carrying me places all these years, you’re forgiven for making me look so bad in shorts and hey, sorry for all the bruises.
Here, have […]