Thursday, April 19th, 2007...8:47 am
Sexual Scoreboard: Face Shot
A recent debate among friends centered on an issue we all know is in the back of every man’s brain: shooting a wad on a woman’s face. Let me clear some things up for the bros out there. There’s a fine line between women who like to feel they’re in a porno, and those who want you to be gentle in the sack (read: prudes). You’ll know which kind of girl you’re with the second you get a few drinks in her; from there, you need to know how to toe the line. Some girls like to get busted on but would never ask for it; others would; others think it’s degrading; and still others would rather swallow that shit than have it all over their faces, hair, tits, or otherwise. Basic etiquette requires that you ask her if it’s cool (hint: saying “Is it cool if I bust on your face?” isn’t the sexiest way to do this), and that you find some way to return the very hot favor. Really guys—you don’t get to shoot a load and pass out. Not this time. If you do it right, you’ll get to do it again; and she’ll be convinced that you respect her (point for you). And just as a PS: If you pull a fast one on her and let that shit fly without asking (“Whoops! I was just trying to pull out; I didn’t know your face was right there…”), you’re an asshole. Completely. Alright, go out and work it so you can feel like a god while she’s in the bathroom picking splooge out of her eyebrows.
4 Comments
April 19th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
how come i can tell which ones are written by perry?
April 20th, 2007 at 6:42 am
u cant
April 24th, 2007 at 11:33 am
wait, still unclear on some details here. can you offer some examples of how to gently ask yer girl if she’s go for it? also, if this is on every guy’s list of sexual fantasies (and it is, as you yourself have pointed out) isn’t the onus on the female to let her man know she’s down for the Jackson Pollock treatment? I mean, he knows he wants to, she knows he wants to… it should be for her to put it on the list of things allowed in the bedroom (or bathroom stall). Also, should the guy’s expectation here be that this is only reserved for special occasions? Do we have to wait for an anniversary? and how big an anniversary? Do we have to wait for a full month to go by before we can hope to get the ok for the facial, or can we cut it down to two weeks…? just asking here.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am
Ah, dear reader. In reply:
Yes, some women will ask for it-though that doesn’t mean the “onus” is on her. She may not say the exact words, “I’m down for the ‘Jackson Pollock’” (as you so aptly call it); but some dirty girls will indeed ask-and should, if they want it. Equal footing here: If the man wants to shoot a load on her face, it’s polite to make the suggestion rather than just “go for it,” as they say.
You asked for examples of what to say: Tough call, considering every lass is different. Saying “I want to cum all over you” lacks romance, but is at least to the point. “I want to bust on your face, you dirty bitch,” is a little rough, but might work in a dom/submissive setting. Asking if she wants to “feel” you cum is pure trickery: Don’t be a manipulative asshole.
Oh-and this shit is definitely not just for special occasions. Should both parties be willing (and ready, as it were), cum shots can fire at will; thereby making every day a “special occasion.”
Just remember-if it’s getting fired at her face, lay off the asparagus, cigarettes, and steak for at least 24 hours. Just saying.
xo, Zsa Zsa Bangmore
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